Holiday blues

      Time to update my blog once again.  My doctor decreased my anti-depressant meds last month because I have been doing well but I've been feeling really down lately.  Trying to keep a positive outlook on life can be difficult when everything around me just feels dark.

    I think the number one thing I need to find is a new job.  My current job's workload has slowed to a crawl recently and I don't get any feeling of gratification from work like I used to.  I feel insignificant at work like nothing I do matters, and my bosses have not given me and my co-worker a raise since they have bought the company over 5 years ago.  I've updated my resume and sent it out to a few companies but only have had 2 responses and 1 phone interview.  I sympathize with other job seekers out there as I've forgotten how difficult and trying it can be when you are searching for new work opportunities.

    With the colder weather starting to come and the amount of rain we have had lately, I haven't been going for walks at the park by my house.  So as a result, I've been exercising less and have stopped losing weight.  I haven't been gaining at least but I know I still have a long way to go.  I'm pre-diabetic and my doctor wants me to lose 40 pounds.  At my last physical my cholesterol was higher too, so I need to change my diet and start eating healthier.

     I am proud to say that I have not been drinking alcohol as much as I had been earlier this year.  I haven't gone completely sober but I have done better at limiting myself to just 2 or 3 drinks a month.  I'm slowly starting to realize that I don't need to have alcohol to enjoy myself which has been a massive improvement for me.  

    And last but not least I think just being alone again on the holidays is wearing on me.  I love my parents and know that I'm not really alone because I'll be with them but I still long to have someone else in my life.  My parents are getting older and they are all I really have besides a few close friends.  I want a family of my own, I just need to be patient and try to stay positive.